Let's Go to the Dog Show
by EquinoxWolf
Summary: Midna has an idea to make some money and Link absolutely hates it.


**Hi there. It's near the end of the year again and as my little tradition, it's time for another one-shot story featuring my favourite pair of fictional misfits. I've been saving this idea for some time now and I hope you have a bit of fun with it. Enjoy.**

* * *

"No."

"Oh, come on."

"I said no."

"Please?"

"For the last time, no!"

Midna threw her head back in frustration. "I already said 'please.' What more do you want from me?" she groaned. Midna then brought up the flyer in her hands and shook it in front of Link's face. "Seriously, it won't be as bad as you think. It might even be fun."

"I don't see how me competing in a dog show could be considered _fun_ ," Link argued, bearing the same glare he'd worn since his partner had first proposed this ridiculous plan.

"Well, it'll be easy, at least. All the other mutts would be as bright as bokoblins. You would run circles around them."

"I'm not going to embarrass myself by doing a bunch of tricks in front of the whole town," Link exclaimed. He then quickly looked over his shoulder to the end of the alley. Fortunately no one had heard him and people continued walking along the market street without a single glance.

"No one is going to know it's you," Midna persuaded. "If your own friends can't recognise you as a wolf, none of those people will. Plus, if we pull this off, we'll be loaded." She pointed to the prize listed on the advertisement for emphasis; one-thousand rupees for first place. Link didn't even blink.

"I don't care if the prize is the entire royal treasury. I'm not doing it!"

Midna threw the poster down in a huff. "Well, what do you want to do? In case you've forgotten, we're completely broke! If you hadn't blown all of our money on that stupid sky cannon, we wouldn't be in this mess."

"How was I supposed to know that Fyer guy would ask for everything we had?" Link defended hotly. "Besides, I did that so that we could get the last mirror fragment; so that we could finally get you home and stop Zant. Don't you want that?"

"Yes, I do. And I also want a cooked meal and a warm bed to sleep in tonight. But unfortunately, we can't afford that right now!"

Link flicked a hand through the air dismissively. "We don't need any of that. We can just camp outside and hunt like we usually do."

Midna let out a long, pitiful moan. "But I don't want to sleep outside. For once, I just want to spend the night in a nice, comfortable inn and take it easy. Is that too much to ask?"

With a sigh, Link crossed his arms and stared up towards the sky. "Yeah, I suppose it isn't. I could ask Telma for a room at her place. She might be okay with us paying her later."

Midna nodded and floated a little closer to Link. "Perhaps... Or we could win the prize money and have enough to stay somewhere... fancier. Remember that inn where Auru treated you to dinner, after we did that little favour for him?"

Link eyed her cautiously. "Yes..."

Midna smiled and leaned in towards his ear. "Remember that really special dish that they had, there? Slow-cooked venison roast, marinated in honey and wine... How it was all tender when you bit into it... And that side dish they did with the fried vegetables... And don't forget about that sweet, rich rum they had to wash it all down with... Doesn't that sound _really_ good, right now?

Link closed his eyes as Midna's words induced waves of temptation within him. Memories of that night flooded back to him, and the fragrant flavours that he recalled made Link salivate in earnest. "Yeah... That does sound good," he murmured. He opened his eyes and looked at Midna. "Alright, I'll do it," he said with reluctance.

"Yay! Thank you!" Midna cheered. She then threw her arms around Link's neck and hugged him tightly.

"But on one condition," Link added once she released him. "No one can ever know about this," he stated firmly. " _Absolutely_ no one."

"Of course," Midna chirped. "It'll be our little secret." She picked up the discarded flyer and scanned it excitably. "Now, we only have a few hours before the competition starts, so we need to hurry and make up our act. We'll also need time to clean you up properly for the show, meaning we should get to work right away. Let's go."

As Midna took off down the alley, Link let out an agonising groan. "I better not regret this," he muttered before chasing after the little imp.

* * *

 _'This is stupid. It will never work.'_

These and other pessimistic thoughts crossed through Link's head as he padded along the city streets. Every person nearby gave a wide breadth to the wolf walking towards them; all staring at in fear and, in some cases, awe. The only thing that seemed to stop the people from screaming in a senseless panic was the collar and leash connected around Link's neck.

For Nayru's sake, why did the wretched thing have to be _pink?!_

Moving right beside Link was Midna holding the other end of the lead. In a rare display of her illusion magic, she cut through the crowd in the appearance of a tall, slender woman, garbed in a simple yet elegant black dress. With her smooth complexion and long, flowing hair, the beauty of Midna's guise was almost regal, which made Link curious as to where she had drawn her inspiration from. It was fortunate that Link had cowed back the townsfolk as he had, for if anyone were to bump into Midna, they would undoubtedly notice that her physical size and shape was nothing like her visible form.

"Don't be so grouchy," Midna whispered to Link with a grin. "You're not going to win any fans looking like that. Smile. Wag your tail. Do something cute and puppy-like. Just don't stand there glaring at people." Link didn't respond to her in any manner and instead kept his stare firmly facing forward.

They soon found the stall where registrations for the show were taking place. Sitting behind the counter over a stack of papers and writing utensils, a lonely clerk took the names of every pet and owner. When it was Midna's turn to approach, the man nearly leaped out of his chair at the sight of Link.

"Hi there," Midna said. "I would like to enter my dog in the show, if that's alright."

"That's a wolf!" the man exclaimed.

Midna barely managed not to roll her eyes. "Yes, he is a wolf. Can I please enter him into the show?"

The clerk looked nervously to the scowling wolf next to her and gulped. "Is it... tame?"

"Of course. He is just the sweetest, little angel in the whole wide world, aren't you, baby?" she cooed as she knelt down and ruffled the top Link's head with one hand while her other hand held his chin. "You'd never hurt a fly, would you?" Link's glare only intensified.

The clerk was still unconvinced, but he was surprised that the beast hadn't already torn the woman's arm off. There was a way for him to be more certain, though. "Can he obey commands?" he asked Midna.

"Absolutely," she smiled. Then to Link, she said, "Sit." Immediately, Link dropped his back end to the cobblestones. Midna then gave her next instruction. "Lie down. Roll over." Link carried out those actions flawlessly, leaving the clerk gaping.

"That's... simply amazing. If he listens to you that well, I suppose there's nothing wrong with him competing," he said. The man then flicked through his stack of papers for a blank form. "Now, there is an entry fee that all participants have to pay..."

"Oh dear. That might be a problem," Midna interrupted, pouting as she placed a hand against her cheek. "I do have money, but I need it all so I can feed my little sweetheart, here. He gets very grumpy when he's hungry, and he'll eat just about anything. Who knows what kind of trouble he'll get into if he doesn't get fed on time?"

At that moment, Link looked straight at the clerk and licked his chops. The man turned white and shifted his seat back. "Well... I'm sorry about that... Perhaps you should give the event a miss this time. It'd be for the best."

Midna dropped her gaze "Oh..." she said sadly. "And I came all this way just so that my baby could compete in the show. We practiced together for so long, and now it looks like it was all for nothing." Midna then knelt beside Link again and wrapped her arms around him. "I'm so sorry, dear," she said and began to weep.

Seeing how distraught the poor girl was, the clerk decided to take sympathy on her and made a nervous cough. "Maybe... we could bend the rules just this once."

Midna looked up from Link's coat and wiped her eyes. "Really? You would do that for me?" The clerk nodded. "Oh, thank you. You're such a lovely man."

Blushing, the man placed a fresh form out then dipped his quill into an inkwell. "So, I'll need your full name, if you don't mind."

"Midna Swan will do."

Scratching the name onto the paper, the clerk then eyed Link. "And your dog's name?"

"Linkleberry." Link almost popped a blood vessel. No one noticed the slight twitch of the back of his lip, exposing the white of his fangs.

Placing the quill down, the clerk then passed a ticket to Midna with a number on it. "The show is being held in the theatre on the eastern thoroughfare. Please be there before three 'o'clock this afternoon."

Midna smiled sweetly. "Thank you. I will."

As she walked away, the man called after her. "Just so you know, I'm usually in Telma's Bar most nights. Maybe after the show I can buy you a drink?"

"We'll see," Midna winked. Then she turned away. Further down the street, she burst into a wicked grin. "That was too easy. I almost feel bad for the poor guy."

Link gave no response, only walking along with the darkest glare in his eyes. Midna saw this but felt no concern. "Oh well. It doesn't matter. Right now we have a show to win."

* * *

It was an uncomfortable experience for everyone backstage in the theatre later that day. The rival competitors and stagehands all kept a fearful eye on Link from a distance. Meanwhile the other dogs growled and barked at him without cease; some of the smaller ones doing so from the safety of their owners' protective arms. Being able to communicate with animals in his wolf form, Link could understand every complaint, insult and obscenity that was hurled at him by pampered purebreds that had a problem with his mere presence. Not caring to make matters worse, Link remained silent on his haunches, trying to ignore the constant leering and yapping. The only one who seemed unbothered by the situation was Midna, who leaned against a wall near Link arms crossed and with a mildly bored expression.

The beginning of the show had gone about as well as anyone could have expected. As all of the participants gathered onstage and were compared aesthetically by the judges, many people in the theatre regarded Link with the same apprehension and interest as everybody else that day. He was a standout as the largest animal in the competition, not to mention the most unusual. Midna had appeared pleased by all the attention that Link received, whereas Link simply wanted to disappear.

They were now running through the final phase of the show; the talent round. Each dog and their owner moved onto the stage one at a time to perform a routine to impress the judges with. Link had been placed near the end of the queue, so he and Midna had been waiting for the best part of an hour for all of the other acts to finish.

Finally they were called on for their turn. Link heard the ridiculous name he'd been given being announced aloud and he shot a filthy glare towards Midna before they stepped out onto the floor. Midna flashed him a grin and patted his head for extra kicks. Boiling under the surface, Link forced himself to adopt a calm and gentle manner as they took centre stage. They needed to win the audience's favour within the next few minutes, and if they failed then Link would have gone through all of this torment for nothing. That was not something that he could live with.

The audience sat in silence, waiting, and Midna soon gave her first commands. They started off with a series of simple tricks like sitting and lying down. Though they were minor feats, the sight of a full-grown wolf shaking hands with his 'human' master earned an early applause. The audience's amazement grew as Midna finished the segment by calling three separate numbers, with Link barking the exact amount for each time.

Next, Link and Midna walked across the stage from one side to the other. After every few steps, Link would turn in a full circle while Midna twirled her hand for effect. When they returned to the centre, Midna stood facing Link and raised her arm in a dramatic manner. "Now sing for the lovely people," she ordered.

Sitting onto his haunches, Link raised his head and began to howl. Members of the audience gasped as he sang a soft, soothing tune. The song Link played for his horse, Epona, had been the easiest for him to rehearse, and the crowd quickly became entranced. When he at last finished, the entire room rose into a standing ovation. The roar deafened Link, and he was astonished by the overwhelming praise he was receiving. As Midna bowed to the crowd and led him out of view, a small smile stretched across Link's muzzle; one that he never realised he was wearing.

Once the final acts were completed, all of the dogs were brought together onto the stage once more. Sitting in a neat line, the competitors awaited the judges' verdict with anticipation. Finally, the panel passed a folded paper to the show's presenter, who walked onto the front of the stage and faced the audience. Link immediately tuned out to the man's speech thanking the participants for their performances, as well as other persons of merit for their contributions to the event. Eventually he got to the point.

"And the winners of this year's showcase are..." A collective breath was held as the man unfolded the note in his hand. Then after a suspenseful pause he declared, "Midna and her magnificent wolf, Linkleberry!"

Many heads turned towards the Link with a mix of expressions; shock, glee, fury, envy; but the applause was still great in volume. Waving to the crowd with a wide grin, Midna accepted the small trophy that was offered to her and shook the presenter's hand with the barest touch. She raised the statuette high as she proudly stroked her partner's fur. For Link, he was simply relieved that this whole affair was now over and done with.

* * *

"Oh yeah... This is the life."

Midna set her empty plate onto the nightstand and leaned back on the plush double-sized bed, sighing in contentment. She was once again in her usual imp form, and was making good of her small stature by stretching her legs across the mattress. Beside her, Link sat with his dinner resting on his lap, picking at the food without much enthusiasm.

"I'm glad you're enjoying this," he said dourly, "because there's no way that I'm ever doing that again."

Midna propped herself up onto her hands. "Aww. Don't be like that," she smirked. "The crowd loved you."

"Yeah, they loved me for prancing around like an idiot," Link grumbled.

"It was kind of fun, though," Midna pouted softly. "And it did get us this nice room. Can't you just be happy with that?"

Link huffed. "Nice as this is, it still wasn't worth it."

Placing a hand on her hip, Midna rose to her feet and moved closer to Link. She then draped her arms over his shoulders, making Link stop to look at her. "Well, I'm very grateful that you did this for me. And perhaps _this_ will show you just how grateful I am."

Midna then leaned in and pressed her lips against Link's cheek, holding them there. When she drew back, Link closed his eyes as a tiny smirk spread across his face.

"Okay," he admitted. "Maybe it was a little bit worth it."


End file.
